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5 ways to Build Your Self-Esteem

Writer's picture: jeankussnyderjeankussnyder

We can all use a boost to our self-esteem from time to time. Maybe we had a hard day at work or we just had an argument with our family member. These types of daily events can certainly bring you down! Conversely, there are many different things that can help bring you up and help you to feel better about yourself. What are these things you can do to improve your self-esteem? Look below for 5 things you can start trying today.


1. Discover what you are good at and try to do it more often.

Seems simple, right? And it can be if you make the decision to just do it. If you’re having trouble figuring out what you’re good at, think about the things that you like to do the most, and chances are those are the things you are good at. Also, spend time trying to improve and get better at doing this thing!


2. Talk to yourself like you are your own best friend.

Have you ever noticed how you talk to yourself? Chances are you are like most other people and tend to talk to yourself in some fairly negative ways. Maybe you insult yourself, call yourself names, or only notice when you do things wrong or make mistakes. Whichever negative way you’ve been talking to yourself, it all is damaging to your self-esteem. To stop, the first thing you need to do is start noticing what messages you’re saying to yourself, then remind yourself to change the narrative. But please, do this in a kind way!! Resist the urge to belittle yourself for talking to yourself in this manner as that will only compound the problem!


3. Learn to say “No”


Do you find yourself often agreeing to do things that you don’t really want to do? Do you say “yes” out of fear of making others mad at you? When you do this, you are telling the world (and yourself) that the person doing the asking is more important than you. If you don’t treat yourself as someone who is important, then no one else will either.


Saying no doesn't have to be mean or rude. You can still be a kind and generous person, but also realize that you are at least as important as everyone else. You can say no in a nice and empathetic way. And the good news is that the more often you say “no”, the easier it will be!


4. Take care of your physical health.

It’s important to take care of your body! This includes eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, and getting some exercise. Studies have shown that by taking care of your body, it will assist you in maintaining your mental health as well. Now, this isn’t about having a perfect body or being a perfect weight. You don’t have to be a model! It’s about caring enough about yourself to take care of your basic needs. It’s so much easier to feel good about yourself if you feel healthy and fit.


5. Spend time with people who make you happy.

Being around positive people can help build you up while being around negative people will bring you down and cause you to start doubting yourself. So, surround yourself with positive people who help you feel good about yourself.



Closing Thoughts

Chances are it took a while for your self-esteem to drop, so don’t expect to build it back up in a day or two! Take your time and be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes and accept them as a part of the process. And never be ashamed to reach out for help from a friendly person in your life- family, friends, or a professional.


If you’d like to work with me on self-esteem counseling, please follow the link. I’d love to hear from you.


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